Stomach Knots

|To think, a sweater is made entirely of knots, my stomach could clothe a village.|

A few weeks ago I posted about a new series in the works titled “uncomfortable”. This series explores the ideas behind discomfort, the causes and the feelings of it, what it means to many and what it means to me. From coming out of ones’ comfort zone and refusing to go back into it. Today I am publishing the first image in this ongoing project “Stomach Knots”.

We’ve all experienced it, the lumps that coil and fluctuate from the pit of your stomach to the middle of your throat. Maybe you’re going into your first day at a new job, dropping your child off for the first day of school, or boarding a plane for your first time flying, the scenarios that evoke this feeling are as diverse as the people who experience it. Now imagine being able to find somewhere quiet to purge these knots in your stomach, to physically take hold of that rope and say I’m tired of feeling this way, this discomfort has got to go! Imagine how uncomfortable that process might be, pulling scratchy saliva covered rope out through your mouth while lifting these fist-sized masses one at a time. The feeling of these knots in the bottom of your stomach, the feeling of a lump in your throat being lifted out rather than swallowed, these themes join together in a dance of twine and malaise to evoke that same feeling within you. If you haven’t taken the survey already, I would love to use your feedback to inspire the next set of images in this body of work, click here to tell me what makes you UNcomfortable!

I’ve attached a BTS video for this project below. In moving to a new city, I’ve found myself constantly searching for locations photographers use to shoot nearby, exploring other influential photographers creative process, etc etc so I’ve decided to begin putting out into this world the things I would like to take in. Although nothing profound or well thought out, if you would like to have a taste of how this photoshoot went down check out the video below. #adultacne #isay”ummmmm”alot #imovie

 

They Say We are the Dreamers but We’re Not the Ones Asleep

||So therefore I dedicate myself to myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my sufferance, my loneliness, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger- because I cannot dedicate myself to any fellow being||

I’ve been dying to talk about the RAW show as well as the Meet and Greet I was invited to be apart of but I’ve been holding off until they were both over with to do so.

June 26th: RAW presents Panorama
This was the big showcasing I had been talking and posting and annoying all of you about for weeks and months; it was a huge success! I had so so many beautiful faces stop by and talk to me about my work. some familiar and some not so familiar but all of them were equally exciting to talk to. So so so much went into making this happen even from my end;
I’m so grateful to have had this opportunity to showcase alongside these two wonderful and talented ladies Sara Arwood and Kimberly Joy (you can check out their work just by clicking on their names!!!) but having us work as a team instead of against one another like I feel most artist do this event was truly a blessing. Also to see all of my friends and family who came out to see and support me as well as all of the other local talent, it made my heart so light after a week of such darkness.

Me, Kim and Sara getting taking one last picture before the doors open!

Me, my mother and my baby sister.

My daddy and I.
(this was after the show, I had given up on those heels by this point haha thanks again dad for hanging out the whole time and for helping me take down all of my stuff; this event really wouldn’t have been able to happen the same without you.)

My set up; hindsight’s always 20/20- should’ve had spotlights

My grandmother and I- and the lovely dress she bought me from Raleigh Vintage
(PS Raleigh Vintage, I was endorsing the shit out of you all night if you ever feel like collaborating or something haha)

Preshow with Kim and Kionte (bustopher made friends with Kim whether she really cared to be his friend or not) hahahah

June 28th: Modern Monets New Atheistic launch party
To be vague but honest, I had a lot of negative things to say about this night, I feel as though several things could have and should have been done differently but honestly, after finally posting the previous post I feel no need for negativity; I think Kionte, myself, Chrystal, Kim, and Annica all learned that no matter where we go in our lives that we all band together, when one goes down, we all go down not only because that’s what builds such a strong community between artist but because that’s what friends do for one another.
I’ll say it until I’m blue in he face, I can’t thank the Universe, the Gods and Goddesses, the Illuminati and the stars enough for my photo family, they really are my home away from home, my rock when my knees are shaky, my handmade quilt when my skins isn’t so thick, my perfectly brewed cup of coffee, and my favorite band. I love all of you more than the sky and if there’s one good thing our godforsaken school has done for me, it’s given me you. I love you and thank you for being the only thing that made this night worth a damn.

For the Love of Ava

Yesterday evening I had the honor of photographing the happiest baby I have ever met, Ava, for her 1st birthday. As many of you know, I’m a fine art photographer so I don’t normally dabble in the realm of children photography but I’m not one to turn down an opportunity the go outside of my comfort zone (and look at her, she’s absolutely adorable, so there was no way I was turning down that opportunity!). Originally we had planned on having the photo session the week prior however, we had some movie-esque tornadoes tear through North Carolina and scare everyone into their rabbit holes to protect their own so needless to say, we weren’t exactly going for the Wizard of Oz feel so we opted to move the photo shoot to the following Wednesday.

Amber, her mother, gave me free rein to be a creative as I wanted to be; with this in mind I began racking my brain for ideas that would be age appropriate and fitting for this beautiful baby (because no on wants images of a floating/falling baby but I still wanted to keep my style). Although it took a little while, it hit me. I was going to do some sort of girly, fairy-tale, wonderland; the same “magic” but without the surrealism.
I spent, a few days sketching some ideas, making props, and discussing outfit choices with Amber and before I knew it, the day had arrived.
After some frustrations involving some balloons, helium, and tulle on my end and (thankfully) sleepy baby Ava on Amber’s end, we were both running a bit behind and wound up syncing up in our lateness, agreeing to meet at Waynesborough park around 12 o’clock. Rich and I stopped by my mothers, grabbed my childhood toy chest and briskly headed to the park. Much to our dismay the sun that had started out hiding quietly behind the clouds had decided to streach it’s rays and send the thermostat up to a torrid 80 degrees and make for a sweaty trudge into the woods with a slippery toy box full of props. Thankfully, my wonderfully supportive boyfriend was there to help me carry everything and  the spot I had selected was, for the most part, shadded. Rich helped me set up my blankets, mason jars of flowers, birds, and butterflies, pieces of fabric, boxes, and birdcages and as soon as we got back to the car to get the balloons Amber and Ava pulled into the parking lot, right on time.

Ava seemed to think it was a bit strange at first, that she was making outfit chnages, playing with toys, and hanging on a blanket with a girl with a camera but it didn’t take her long to warm up and break out that adorable two-teeth smile we had all been waiting for. Although it was hot and everyone was sticky, we had a great little photo shoot. Amber and Rich never complained, and Amber kept the mood extremely light despite the heat and did everything she could to keep Ava (and even myself) laughing. Here are some of my favorites from our session and a behind the scenes thanks to Rich.

Photo credit: Rich (@richhomee)

Please Do Not Feed the Fears

During this quarter I have several new things going on at school, this is the first quarter (so far) that I am not taking a photography class that requires me to take pictures. (weird right?) “So Rae, what exactly are you doing this quarter then?” Good question! This quarter I am taking two classes that have this artist flexing some new sections of her right lobe; Time Based Media II and Expressive and Experimental Typography are the titles of these new art exercises I’m experimenting with.

Time Based Media II is a class on video (how cool is that?) In this class I’m learning how to not only record videos in general but also how to record a good damn video period. Below is a link to my first assignment; to produce a music video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mrLMIeU2TI

(also to see a segment of the first video I EVER shot, check out http://youtu.be/ZOPLvjRA_fE; it was a group project in an Into to Cinematography class, my section is that last one and it starts at 4:12.)

Expressive and Experimental Typography is a Graphic Design class that teaches expressive and experimental ways to use typography (hahaha) I chose to take this class, not only because I needed an elective but also, in initially coming to this school I started out living across the way (and part-time on the couch) from Seth, Juan, Phil, and Zack (Neil lived there too but we won’t talk about Neil) and these guys were not only some of the most down right honest and genuine people but they were damn good (to say the least) at their art. They taught me everything I know and have prepared me for everything I am and are about to learn.

So far (three class in) this is what I’ve done; all except the tea cup were in class assignments with rules, time constraints, and limitations. Through out the quarter I’ll post more of the work that I do and I can’t wait to see how much I improve from the 1st assignment to my last.

 

As always, I love hearing what you guys think! About the music video, about the typography work, or just your thoughts in general. I’d love to hear from some of you, good things, bad things, unrelated things and constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome.

P.S. shout out to my beautiful muse Sabby Whitworth in the Hurricane music video, she never complains and is always not only a joy to be around but just so fucking easy to work with.
Also, special recognition to my fellow photographers who participated in the group project video: Brittany Miche (part I), Michael Gardner (part II), Liz Burke (part III), and Jessica Bratton (part IV)

 

love always,
Rae

Forever falling; falling for everything.

“I am forever falling, falling for everything…falling for you.”

So, so many of you have asked me about my composites and how I do them.
“How do you make people look like they’re falling or flying or levitating, etc. etc.”
So here it it guys!

So a while back I was toying with the concept of dreams and what certain symbols or elements mean within your dreams. In doing research for this series I stumbled across the concept of falling. Falling held several different meanings depending on the variations of who is falling (is it you? a loved one? an enemy? an unknown?) where are they falling from? (a cliff? top of the stairs? the sky?) why they are falling? (did someone push them? did they trip?) and what happened after they fell (did they ever hit the ground? did they continue falling forever? did it wake you up? did they die?) etc.
The meaning that I found that I related to the most and found very interesting is (roughly) as follows: As your body drifts deeper into sleep and the nervous system begins to quiet, blood pressure and heart rate drops and this physiological shift of “falling” asleep can trigger a falling dream. However, understanding the relation of falling in your sleep and how it relates to your waking life is key. Dreams of falling tend to be the minds way of alerting you of situations in your life that you feel are out of control, where you feel overwhelmed and vulnerable.
and THAT description just so happens to be the story of my LIFE.

So once I had my concept in mind I began sketching out ideas, talking to models, and scouting locations. In Apex, there is an abandoned nursing home COVERED in graffiti, the entire building has this eerie and sad vibe to it with its walls plastered with words like “Turn back now!”, “No return”, and “smile”. It was relatively cheesy at first but as you walk around this place and see all of the old photos of families and clothing, unmade beds, and folders on folders of patients and their medical needs you realized that, for these people in this nursing home, this was the end of the line. They were away from their families, close enough to the end of their life that they couldn’t take care of themselves, and expected to act okay with it all. So this was it; the perfect place. The epitome of the concept of falling. So I brought along two of my favorite people, a stool, a suitcase, and my concept book, we “set up camp” in front of this wall and the image turned out so much better than anything I could have imagined.

Special thanks and shoutout to my muse, Jessica Yarnes of JGY Design (Check out her work on her blog @ http://jgydesign.wordpress.com/ ) and my muse and support, Liz Burke of XYLO Photography (Check out her portfolio on her website @ http://xylophotography.22slides.com/ )

I always, always love hearing from all of you. So any comments, questions, surreal work that you have done yourself, ideas you’d like to discuss and/or concepts you would like to see or execute yourself I would love to hear all of it!